Without my knowledge or encouragement, movie-goers bombarded the Academy Selection Committee with irate letters...

CATs everywhere clearly expected "CAT Journal: Friday the 13th" to meet and exceed the standards set by previous feline productions:

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Well...

My phone did ring...a distraught representative of the Academy: "Ron, PLEASE, call off the dogs!"

Well, ahem...

I curtly replied:

"Sorry, wrong number!"

...and promptly hung up.

Dogs...indeed!

I let the next few calls go to straight to voice mail...urgent pleas to answer, apologies for the unfortunate choice of words.

Let them stew!

Finally...

...tired of the constant ringing in my ears, yet afraid to silence the ringer for fear of missing an important CAT call, I picked up the receiver and listened to their pleadings.

And so it is...

...that I bring you these tidings. (CAT Tracks Editor's Note: The word "missive" has been sullied forever in my mind. I shall no longer use that term in my postings...thus my choice of "tidings".)

My fellow CATs:

I am truly humbled by the outpouring of catty commentary directed at the Academy of Motion Picture Arts and Sciences. You have done me and yourselves proud by rising up without hesitation against what you perceived as an injustice. It goes to show that the spirit of the CAT remains strong and alert. Members everywhere can rest assured that the long tradition still stands: "CAT has your back!"

However...

In this particular instance, there has been no act of injustice. It is a misunderstanding resulting from timing.

It's one of those "Good News, Bad News" situations...

"CAT Journal: Friday the 13th" was released as a documentary on the very day that he who shall remain unnamed left the District. (Is there anyone who wants to argue that his leaving was not "Good News"?) The "Bad News"? The January 13, 2012 release date eliminated our epic for consideration at this time. Only movies released between January 2011 and December 2011 are eligible for the awards to be presented on February 26th.

The further "bad news" is that such an early release date in 2012 will most likely result in a fading effect when the nominations are made for best picture in January 2013.

But, hey...

C'est la vie!

The liberty bell ringing in Cairo School District Number One beats an Oscar every time!

Oh, don't get me wrong...

...I did have my fun.

I did make the Academy representatives squirm a bit...like they were on a hot tin roof. (After all, my fur was still ruffled over the "Call off the dogs" comment.)

While on the phone, I e-mailed the Academy pictures to show that the actors in our epic had already gone to great personal wardrobe expense in expectation of red carpet treatment (aka the "CAT walk"):

Let me tell you, that shut down their empty-handed apologies and loosened the old purse strings.

Let the negotiations begin!

After a bit of scratching and clawing, I played my trump card...

...a video of me, rehearsing my acceptance speech:

Gotcha!

So...

...if you are out and about today, you might want to take a drive by my house.

My sister-in-law's car is long gone...

...no more DC plates for me.

Nope...

In return for my pledge to spread the word that they had NOT snubbed "CAT Journal: Friday the 13th" and my guarantee that I would "call off the CATs"...the Motion Picture Academy delivered a brand new CATmobile this beautiful Sunday morning...with purrsonalized plates!

I call this "poetic justice"...flashing back to he who shall remain unnamed, his finger-wagging exit. I might have to google his address, take a leisurely drive to Chicago, try out the horn - "MEOW, MEOW, MEOW, MEOW, MEOW, MEOW, MEOW, ME-OOOW" (aka Nah, Nah, Nah, Nah, Hey, Hey, Hey, Good-Bye) - and return the favor:

"(Expletives Deleted), I got mine!" (Picture of Finger-Wagging CAT Deleted.)

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