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CAT Tracks for March 17, 2012
SPEAKING OF HOUSE FIRES |
Aspiring cat chef blamed for fire...
...flour paw prints found on cookbook open to recipe for Southern Fried Chicken.
Although denying responsibility, KiKi (the accused cat) raised eyebrows when she tersely responded to reporters' questions with:
"Have you ever eaten raw chicken?"
This just in...
...from various online gossip columnists.
Representatives from the Food Network have contacted KiKi about appearing on their shows...enticing her with the pick of the litter.
One scenario has her appearing on a special Iron Chef episode...matched against the ever-popular celebrity chef Catherine "Cat" Cora. The working title for the show is "Cat Fight".
Not to be outdone, representatives of Bobby Flay are scratching and clawing to get KiKi's paw print on a contract...for a Throwdown!. If you have ever watch the show, then you know the plan. The Bumgardners will be standing in their yard, holding and stroking KiKi, watching carpenters restoring their fire-gutted house. A commotion will cause the camera to pan toward the road...filming an approaching vehicle. Yep, Bobby Flay...arriving to challenge KiKi to a chicken-frying Throwdown!
Dropping out of the intense competition for KiKi are representatives of the Barefoot Contessa. Due to KiKi's au naturel appearance, producers felt they could pair that with the popularity of the Bear Claw" pastry and entitle KiKi's show as "Bare Paw Catessa". Well, KiKi put four paws DOWN on that concept.
Well...
...being a cat.
KiKi seems more inclined (reclined?) to an offer from Paula Deen. The concept of this show would be simple and right up a any cat's alley. The "new" show would be exactly like Paula's current show...featuring Paula doing all the cooking, all the work. Periodically during the show, the camera would pan toward KiKi...lying in a place of honor. At the very conclusion of the show, Paula would serve KiKi a sample of the day's featured delicacy. The working title of the show is "Paula Deen: Catonese Cuisine".
CAT Tracks Editor's Note:
Alas, with no offense indended...
KiKi is typical of the younger generation...ignorant of the past (doomed to repeat it?!)
Knowing that I have spent what seems a lifetime representing CATS, KiKi faxed me a copy of the plot outline for the series. Clearly, in BOLD PRINT, right on the cover...
...the original title for the project:
"Paula Deen: To Serve Cats"
Oh, someone had taken a pen and made a half-hearted attempt to scratch out that title, inking in the aforementioned working title of "Catonese Cuisine". KiKi? Never raised a singed whisker...simply purring with anticipation.
Kids! (Kittens?)
Those of us who are more mature, old enough to have watched the original TV series, well, such a title would have us running for the exits.
KiKi!!!
Get your paws on a copy of the To Serve Man episode before you sign anything!
I mean...
Paula Deen seems like a very nice lady, the quintessential grandmotherly type...she wouldn't harm a fly (unless it landed on one of her sticks of butter!)
Except...
Paula is a cook...she cooks things that used to be alive. She's in a cutthroat business...a TV ratings business.
Should finicky viewers tire of watching some cat cooking in the kitchen with Paula, tire of watching Paula feed (fatten up?) a cat, what becomes of said cat?
KiKi...
"To Serve Man"
It was a cookbook!!!
From the ksdk.com website...
"Kiki" the house cat burns down South Carolina home
Written by Kristen Gosling
(WCNC) -- A cat named Kiki is being blamed for a fire that destroyed the home of a South Carolina family Wednesday night.
Fire investigators said the family had six baby chickens in a coop on a screened porch, and while they were out, Kiki apparently spotted the chicks and thought they'd make a good snack.
"She tipped over a heat lamp that we had over the baby chicks," said Katherine Bumgardner, who lived in the York home with her husband David and their two kids.
Luckily no one was home, as the fire caused by that lamp quickly spread.
It destroyed most everything, including some military memorabilia David Bumgardner collected from tours of duty he served as a Marine in Iraq and Afghanistan.
"Luckily we had renter's insurance on the property. We'll get our stuff back," he said as he picked through what he could find in the debris.
"Obviously we're happy also that nobody was at home. Our kids are safe and me and my husband are fine. It could have been a lot worse. We could be spending the night in a hospital," said Katherine.
Kiki the cat had some of her whiskers singed and also suffered some minor burns on the pads of her feet.
Even though she is the suspected culprit, she will continue to be a member of the family, said Katherine.
"I can't be mad at her cause she did get hurt. I was lucky. I was hoping to find her. I was hoping she'd be OK."
The chicks were not so fortunate.
Three died in the fire.
Only Kiki knows what happened to the other three.
The Bumgardners have family nearby and will stay there while they get back on their feet.
CAT Tracks Editor's Note:
If you have broadband access, the Link to the Original Story have video of KiKi and Bumgardners.
