A unique approach to school security: Bulletproof whiteboards?

Hey, what's not to like!

While the armed school resource officers, teachers, and/or janitors are firing away at the armed intruder, the students can whip out their bulletproof whiteboards and try not to become collateral damage.

EDUCATIONAL MOMENT ALERT!

Teachers:

Be sure to be on the lookout for the latest in Professional Development workshops!

Look for sessions with headings like: "Personal Whiteboard 101".

The descriptor will include something like the proper positioning of the whiteboard: When deploying the whiteboard during a shootout, the student should make certain that he/she is facing the educational side of the whiteboard...so that he/she can continue the learning process without interruption. Don't forget to insert those earbuds!...specially designed to reduce the background noise of gunshots and enhance the instructional soundtrack.

Also: Don't forget that, when the shooting starts, students should automatically deploy into their small learning groups...preinstructed to sit in a circle on the floor with their backs to each other creating an impregnable defensive shield. We don't want to replicate the friendly fire incidents so common in nonschool war zones.

LESSON PLAN ALERT!

Teachers:

Don't forget to include contingencies for "armed intruder day".

You should select an appropriate "emergency lesson" to be displayed on all student whiteboards that could be activated by the simple press of a panic button. (The video "Defensive Maneuvers of Turtles" would be my choice, being more optimistic than "Fish in a Barrel". Oh, yes, "kill and drill" prep for standardized tests is in vogue, but I worry about the political correctness of the phrase.)

DISCLAIMER:

Was the catty commentary above in poor taste?

You're damn straight!

But...

...so was the whole concept of the article. Companies playing upon the fear (creating/stoking the fear?) of parents and school officials in an effort to grab their share of the education dollar in highly competitive, hard economic times.

Sad...

They should be ashamed, but I'm sure they are not.

Fear sells!

If you want to read more on school security measures - including the use of posses - read on...

From Education Week...