No Academic Harm Found in Early Retirement of Teachers

Yes, Virginia...

It can be all about you!

1. Do a financial check...can you afford to retire?

2. Do an emotional check...

   • Do you need to work to feel worthwhile? If the answer to this one is "Yes", a follow-up question:
     • Isn't there something, ANYTHING else that you can do? (since the media tells you daily that teachers aren't worth a sh*t!)

   • Do you need to work to get away from your spouse or significant other? (For you married folks pondering this question, Tammy Wynette provided the musical answer years ago: "D-I-V-O-R-C-E". For you folks living in sin: Find a more compatible sinner!)

   • Do you need to work to get away from your kids?
     • If the kids are not yet school age, you are already dealing with it...otherwise, how are you at work?! (Simply maintain the status quo...but, now, you have seven hours of freedom!)

     • If the kids are school age...HEY! Now you are a "parent" taking advantage of the free baby-sitting service that you have provided for the past 30+ years! Those little urchins are the school's problem from 8 to 3.

     • If the kids are college age, see Item #1, the financial check.

     • If the "kids" are 25+, call a locksmith.

3. Do a physical check...can you walk and chew bubblegum?

That's it!

Unless you found an insurmountable obstacle, you are ready and able to retire!

Splaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaash!

That was me throwing the bucket of cold water in your face!!!

Retire?

Not yet, you don't.

You must serve out your final year!!!

But...

You have two choices:

• You can write your letter of resignation to the Board of Education, have it officially acted upon in their February meeting, lord it over your friends and enemies with a sh*t-eating grin, and be feted at the retirement party in late May (barring more inclement weather), or

• The cat can have your tongue (although feel free to do your best Cheshire Cat imitation), you can attend the retirement gala all innocent like (like I did, even passing out the plaques to my fellow retirees), and then wander down to the Superintendent's office to deliver your letter of resignation. (I got my first retirement check the same day as a colleague who turned hers in for approval in December.)

Either way, from that day forward...