CAT Tracks for March 22, 2013 PARDON THE PAWS

Once upon a time, a fortnight or so ago, while exiting the cat cave in the usual manner, this old cat stubbed his paw and fell down the infamous rabbit hole once visited by Alice.

Coming of age during the 60s, I heard many a tale of LSD and acid trips...

Being of sound mind and body, I did not embark upon such hallucinatory journeys. In fact, I never even experimented with marijuana...not taking a drag, much less inhaling. Even though I had quit attending church, I still was much the altar boy in behavior.

These past few days, continuing to the present, I am making up for lost time...confirming to me that my life style choice was a good one!

As I search for an exit from this bizarre mental location in which I find myself,I am inundated by sights (no sounds) that are beyond description. That, of course, is good for you dear reader, saving you a few pages!

A brief recap...

It all started on February 1st. I was sitting at my faithful computer at 3 a.m., strolling the Internet alleyways looking for stories suitable for posting on CAT Tracks. In the blink of an eye, I lost peripheral vision in the left eye. Returned to bed, hoping that maybe it was just eyestrain or general fatigue. Unfortunately, upon reawakening, the deficit was still present.

I have been a prideful cat, bragging to any and all within earshot, that I don't do veterinarians, literally, not having been for so much as a physical since 2001, an occurrence brought on by the imminent passage of a kidney stone. Yep, it takes the birthing of a kidney stone or a flirtation with blindness to drive this old cat in pursuit of medical treatment.

Well, that didn't take long did it! A BRIEF recap???

Continuing on...

So, off to CHESI I went, receiving immediate orders from my family doctor to get myself to an eye specialist...which led to various tests and doctors.

An ultrascan of my carotid arteries revealed abnormalities in both...a tight blockage in the right, as in 90+%.

Actually, prior to the receipt of this news, an eye test revealed that I had lost one-quarter of my vision in both eyes...an indication, according to the eye doctor, of a neurological problem...stroke, lesion, and/or brain tumor.) I was Thus, a referral to a neurologist for evaluation.

Meanwhile back at the cardiologist (thoracic surgeon or whatever the title), I get the news that I need my right carotid slit and cleaned. But, since I had told him that I had an appointment with the neurologist the next day, the cardio doctor told me to keep that appointment and then to come back to him for the neck cuttin'...or words to that effect.

The neurologist, after looking at the vision tests run by the eye specialist, strongly suspected a brain issue...a stroke brought on by the now confirmed clogged carotid. Since he was going to be out of town, the neurologist scheduled an MRI and an echo cardiogram for good measure, to be review upon his return..

This old cat stewed on that plan all the way back to the cat cave. I kept hearing a tick, tick, ticking in my head. I mean, I've probably had a stroke, brought on my a confirmed blocked artery, but I'm going to wait TWO WEEKS! to take a couple of tests...and THEN meet to talk about it?!

After arriving home, I called the neurologist and offered my logical concerns. In response, he moved the MRI up to three days hence.

That MRI built a fire under the neurology department, the doctor calling me himself the next day...a Saturday morning. He told me to report back to the hospital on Tuesday for a second MRI to confirm just what needed to be done when the thoracic surgeon cut into the carotid.

I returned for the second MRI and then returned home. Had not been home more than an hour when the phone rang...an assistant to the neurologist: "Mr. Newell, can you go to the hospital TODAY?" Now, THAT was the sense of urgency for which I was looking. I responded in the affirmative and started packing my bag...awaiting the call of the surgeon.

Well, THAT turned out to be too good to be true. I finally received a call from the surgeon's office that the procedure would be performed three days hence, but much better than the "Plan A" which was two or more weeks into the future.

Kitten steps.

I've got to be the only "author" who writes 400-page books in which the prologue exceeds the actual story. Hey, makes me unique.

And, hey, you are still reading, so I must be doing something right...

Checked into the hospital on the designated day and got my neck slit. (My great disappointment, my first surgery and they never even asked me to count backward from 100. I was determined I was going to get further than 97 like they always do in the movies and TV Shows. But, all of a sudden, I was just gone...and then I was in recovery. Stayed overnight for observation.

The, it was back to the cat cave....to live happily ever after.

Four days later, sitting in the cat cave minding my own business...all of a sudden, I find that I am not feeling well. Finally I call my brother-in-law and tell him that I think I need to go the the clinic...but that I don't think I would be able to sit in the waiting room. Well, he took charge, called CHESI and said we were on our way. When we got there, he walked me through the front door...to be taken straight to urgent care.

A few questions and an EKG...it's off to the hospital by ambulance. I vaguely remember that, the arrival at the hospital, and then it's gone. I totally lose two days.

And THAT was the good news.

When I awakened, my very own personal acid trip began...and continues. (In fact, while I am typing this missive, there is a person of my imagination standing next to me holding a tray and tapping her toe to the song "HELP" by the Beatles...the very apropos line being "help me get my feet back on the ground".)

One other apt hallucination...

When I was moved out of ICU to a regular room, I began by seeing like a border on the wall in front of my bed...cats...still life, not moving...until the nurses turned out the lights...whereupon they came to life and started roaming the room...with their fiery eyes. My other hallucination were not as pleasanat...gory, bloody, whatever. Fortunately, those seem to have ended.

Oh, did I tell you about my my heart...that it evidently decided to take a paws for the cause...an 18 second break, either at CHESI or at the ER in Cape. This "event" led to a "suggestion" that I needed to have pacemaker inserted into my furry chest. From the doctors for the next two days, it was "Yes", "No", then "Yes"...whereupon I decided "NO". I told them that I wanted to go home to mend before heading off on a new adventure. (Oh, I forgot to tell you - the best guess of "What happened? - is that the opening of the long-clogged carotid artery released a blood-rush or broke loose some junk that hit the brain and gave me a second stroke, a bleed, and swelling)

Finally, March the 20th at approximately 3:3:30, my brother-in-law drives me back to the comfortable environs of the cat cave. I was hoping that leaving the stimulus of the hospital that I would leave my hallucinations behind. Unfortunately, that is not the case. Then, again, the doctors said to "Give it time, it will go away". Well, that was the first doctor, to be followed by a second opinion that was too iffy for my appreciation.

Hey, as in all of life, one day at a time!

Footnote:

When I sat down at the computer, I was truly intending to write a couple of paragraphs...something witty, just to prove that I could still do it.

Well...

Fur sure I can still "type a couple of paragraphs".

As for wit...

Always a personal thing, in the ear of the beholder.

Of course, there are many who never appreciated my "wit" in the first place...maybe their number are now legion.

As for CAT Tracks...

The missed stories?

I shall be purrusing the past, and posting anything of interest to me. Hopefully, in next few days, things will return to normal.

Thanks to all who have offered support and kind words. An entire life of no broken bones, no hospitals, and no surgeries can make one an independent old cuss.

In times like these, it's nice to realize that my first choice for life's theme song...

"I Am A Rock, I Am An Island"

...was wrong.

Thanks for throwing me a rescue line!

...of whichever number life that happens to be!