Brain-wave sensors: The answer to student engagement?

CAT Tracks Editor's Note:

Before I rush out and buy stock in Nervanix, this enquiring cat needs to know...

...exactly where do the headsets sit on the student's head?

I mean...

...if the "sensors" affix to the temples, then I might invest my precious pension funds before they are pried from my cold dying paws.

However...

...if the headsets fit over the ears, fugitaboutit !

I mean...

No matter how hard the teacher may try, the typical disengaged student of today is NOT going to remove the earbuds attached to their personal digital device streaming music and movies!

Okay, seriously...

...this is a stupid idea!

Instead of dreaming up new gimmicks to fleece school districts of their dwindling budget dollars...

...lets go straight to the only true "silver bullet" out there...

...the silver pill!

When the chemists cook up an Algebra pill, an ELA pill, a, well, Chemistry pill, then we will have the answer.

More importantly, the students will have the answers!

In fact, forget the subject-specific pills...

...researchers need to go straight to the "test-taking pill", since according to "education reformers", that is all that matters!

Give us the "silver pill" and watch students in the United States knock the socks off of the Common Core assessments, the NAEP tests, and the almighty PISA!

And what do the teachers do to prepare for the Seattle Seahawk-Denver Bronco-like annihilation of any and all tests?

Throw a pizza party and monitor closely that students wash down their test-taking pills!

The student test scores would then (unlike now) provide valid and reliable evidence of teacher "failure"...

...to make the students swallowed their pills.

Memo to any such offending teacher: