Mind Your Moods, Cat Owners

CAT Tracks Editor's Note:

Something else to worry about if you "own" a cat...

...wear a happy face and speak in soothing tones.

Unless there is real danger...

...then, follow the cat!

The cat of course is attuned to the old "how to escape a grizzly bear" joke...

...that although out-running the grizzly is impossible...

...if you are in the company of another, your only challenge is out-running your companion!

Speaking of cat behavior...

Madam CAT President entrusted me with being "cat caretaker" to her Mr. Lucky...

...so named because he used one of his original nine lives to survive being thrown from a moving car to "die and go to heaven" by being rescued on the spot by Madam President, she taking him home and being his servant ever ever since. (BTW, dog lovers, she has one of those too!)

Forebitten is forewarned!

Being a cat lover, but declining permanent responsibility and having rare opportunity at temporary contact, I introduced myself to Mr. Lucky. After accepting my petting efforts with loud purrs, I evidently met or exceeded his unknown limit because he quickly turned his head in my direction and gave me his patented "double-bite move", sinking his sharp-as-needles teeth into my hand and drawing blood, not once but twice in rapid succession.

Ouch!

I digress...

...but, needed to offer background, to set the stage for my "Cat Tale".

On the day my cat care-taking began...

I entered Mr. Lucky's house to check on him and he greeted me at the door.

Yes, he was somewhat wary, not having seen me for a while, glancing over his shoulder to insure that his path of escape was open and clear.

But, when I exercised proper cat-human communication, smiled and made soothing it's-okay-kitty sounds, sure enough, Mr. Lucky advanced and returned my greeting with typical cat-rubbing-the-leg action.

In accordance with my previously mentioned lack of cat contact, I decided to cement the relationship by sitting on the couch and cautiously stroking Mr. Lucky's back, he returning the favor with suitable purring.

In retrospect...

I wonder.

Was it a matter that I once again exceeded the petting limit, or were Mr. Lucky's actions all according to plan...

...his plan?

Yep, before I could withdraw and beg forgiveness, Mr. Lucky whipped his head around and gave me his patented move!

But, hey, in accordance with my personal philosophy toward humans or animals: "Fool me once, shame on you; fool me twice, shame on me", I withdrew my hand quickly enough to only receive a single grazing wound that did not draw blood.

Well, being startled got the best of me and I did not exercise proper cat-human communication (at least, apparently, in Mr. Lucky's opinion.) Yes, I raised my voice, possibly even uttering a mild profanity.

Memo to Madam President:

Ya coulda/shoulda named the little rascal Mr. Lightning! All I saw (after looking down at my hand to assess the damage) was a furry blur streaking into the family room.

If there had been a grizzly bear in the house, I would have been bear breakfast.

Mr. Lucky did make a parting appearance...

...coming to the top of the stairs and giving me a steely glare.

I can't prove it, but I would swear there was a smirk on his face and a quiet purring. (Chortling?)

Cat's Revenge

Little did I know that the episode was not over.

When I returned the next day to check on my charge, I expected to be greeted at the door once more. (Forgive & Forget?)

Oh, I had already decided that there would be no petting. I am not a prideful person, I was willing to allow Mr. Lucky to claim victory - Cat 1 (well, actually, counting the first "double-tap time") - Cat 2, Human 0.

Little did I know: "Game On!"

No Mr. Lucky greeting me at the door.

Okay, going to play hard to get? Going to harbor a grudge? Going to play "Scaredy Cat"?

In my best cat-human communication tone of voice: "Here Kitty, Kitty, Kitty. Lucky? Mr. Lucky!"

No Mr. Lucky.

My "cat calls" (eventually my pleas) went unrewarded.

I searched high and low...

...I even searched outside (my growing fear that somehow Mr. Lucky had managed to slip past me through the open door.)

At the 30-minute marker, my despair increases (as does my pulse rate and my blood pressure!) I've lost Madam CAT President's cat!!!

I searched desperately and unsuccessfully for another 15 minutes...

...before I made the call, the call that nobody wants to make to the "next of kin"...

..."De De, I can't find Mr. Lucky!"

Madam President exercised proper human-human communication...

...trying to calm my frazzled nerves, giving me hints of where to look...

...all to no avail.

Another 10 minutes of frantic searching, my nerves hanging by a thread, the phone rings...

Madam CAT President: "Well, did you find him?"

Me: "Noooooooo. De De, I have looked everywhere, tried everything, I can't find him! I'm afraid he's gone...I am so SORRY!"

Still unfazed (apparently a trait acquired by those who deal regularly with children and/or pets...especially the feline variety), she suggested that I rattle the top on Mr. Lucky's food container.

With little faith, I did...

...and, low and behold, a curious face did appear, peeking around the corner to the family room, like: "Whassup?"...

...then, the repeated blur of fuzzy disappearance!

That darn cat! (or expletives to that effect.)

Was Mr. Lucky trying to give me a heart attack, trying to take my final life (various CSD school boards and superintendents taking the other eight?)

I shall give him the benefit of the doubt, wanting to think the best of cats and CATs.

Mr. Lucky was just playin'...

BTW:

I informed Madam CAT President that I would indeed "cat sit" again...

...will just made sure that I wear a pair of cat-bite-proof gloves...

...and check carefully upon entering and leaving the "cat house" so that I don't fret that a non-appearing cat is a sign of an escaped cat...